Long Distance Relationships + My Advice For Managing Them

•  I want to take a minute to talk about long-distance friendships and relationships. 

• Being someone who works bi-coastally and internationally, maintaining long-distance relations is both a challenge and a gift. When people ask me "how do you manage to do it", I am the first to admit I don't have it all together. I have had my share times of letting friends down. I have had relationships in which my significant other felt put on the back burner. But I have also had countless experiences of cultivating relationships in ways that wouldn't be as supporting, appreciative or loving if it weren't for the distance. When you put it all out on the table, my personal advice boils down to two points. 1: TRY and 2: LISTEN. 
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  1: TRY. Juggling school, work, businesses, family, hobbies, and taxes doesn't leave much time for relationships. The overwhelm of that alone can cause us to clam up, hibernate, and/or push people away- especially if they are long distance because the space just makes avoidance easier. However it's important to remember that those you love are not expecting countless hours or perfection - they only want your effort. Try. Reach out when something funny happens, when something bothers you, or simply when you want to talk. Even if you miss a phone call, or can't make schedules align, you tried. And that effort from both sides is what creates balance and connection. 
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  2: LISTEN. This is quintessential to do and understand. Listen to what the needs, pains, and joys are in your friends or significant others life. People show, give, and receive love in different ways, so it is important to listen to and understand those preferences, in order to give and receive love completely. 
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• I would recommend reading "The 5 Love Languages" for singles or couples. Whether it is sending a text or letter with kind affirming words, a small gift that reminds you of them, a face time/Skype date or adventure, virtual or visualized hugs, or helping them with a task like managing emails or doctors appointments from across the globe, small acts can go a long way. 
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• I'm not going to say it's easy, but I will tell you it's worth it. Whether it is a friendship or relationship, I can truly attest to the fact that distance does make the heart grow fonder!

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